


Lost Hope//Mcyt Angst Oneshots

by PhantomWasTaken



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, All hurt, Angst, Crying, Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional pain, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, I also made my editors cry, I made my co-writers cry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Men Crying, Pain, Physical Abuse, Physical Pain, Sad Ending, Suffering, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomWasTaken/pseuds/PhantomWasTaken
Summary: A small collection of angsty mcyt works that will leave your heart torn!
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap/Karl Jacobs
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Before You Read

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind that this is my first time uploading to AO3 so I’m sorry if it’s a bit messy! If at anytime the CCs are uncomfortable with these types of works I will take them down immediately! Feedback is more than welcome!

Before you read there’s some important things I’d like to tell you!

This work is made purely for entertainment and nothing more. I do not actually ship the CCs and I wrote this out of boredom. I admire their personas and characters and that’s what this work is mainly focused around.

There are some potential triggers!

-Panic Attacks  
-Death  
-Drug Use/Abuse  
-Abuse  
-Suicidal Thoughts/Actions  
-Mental Abuse  
-Mental Disorders  
-Eating Disorders  
(TBA but each trigger is listed in the notes before each chapter!)

If you would like to request stories you may have to dm me on Wattpad (PhantomWasTaken).

I’m in the process of making a Discord where you will be able to request works and chill with other mcyt fans!


	2. More Addictive Than Drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream becomes hooked on drugs as an escape from feeling the effects of falling in love with his best friend. He can’t seem to hang on to his relentless emotions for much longer before he decides to go numb to it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drug Use/Abuse, Panic Attacks, Abuse(?), Suicide, Death, Overdose

Living a life filled with parties and clubbing was all fun until you’d come home with the worst hangover that made death seem better breathing another second. Despite barely being the legal age to go out and have drinks, Dream had been living the same lifestyle for two years. His nights consisted of parties with his best friend Sapnap who definitely wasn’t old enough to be partaking in most of the activities they would get themselves into. 

Dream buried his head into his pillow to block out the blinding light of the sun’s rays that peeked in through the window. He tried to recall the events of last night but everything seemed like a blur. The only thing he could remember was sitting at the bar making a bargain with some guy he hadn’t met before. He paid for his own bags of cocaine and weed he knew he had to hide from Sapnap. Did he hide those bags?

He shot up from his bed and quickly made his way downstairs where the younger man had been walking out of the door to leave for his classes. Sometimes it astonished him how Sapnap could party and go to class within a few hours of each other but he knew better than to question the abilities of college students. His eyes scanned over the room to look for any plastic bag with the illegal contents. Nothing.

He remembered vaguely tossing the bags into his dresser where some of his clothes had been folded. Just the thought of getting high again made him crave the feeling of the addictive side effects. Maybe one hit couldn’t hurt. He allowed himself to subconsciously wander back to his bedroom and dig through his dresser, pulling out one of his many blunts from his stash. Without taking another thought he placed the roll to his lips before lighting it.

He breathed in the contaminated air and held it for a moment, allowing its contents to absorb into his body before he blew it back out. His mind began to slow down as he continued to smoke away. Once he was content with his current state, he put out the blunt and immediately went to check his phone only to see a few texts and missed calls from George. He should probably return those.

He took a deep breath and tapped on the call button, a small chime alerted him that George had picked up and a green ring surrounded his profile picture as he said hello. “It’s about time you decide to return my calls. What were you doing?” Dream sighed at his frantic friend, “I just woke up not too long ago.” George huffed in disapproval, “Let me guess, you went out again last night?” Dream remained quiet for a bit as he knew George would easily see through his lies. “Dream, what did I tell you about partying every night? You’re going to end up hurting yourself in the long run.” The blonde grumbled, “I know but I just want to take my mind off of things.” 

It was true. Dream wanted to take his mind off of the thing that drove him crazy, that thing being George. He hated the waves of nervousness, the way his heart fluttered everytime they would joke around. Everytime he would playfully flirt with his friend, it began to feel less playful and more meaningful. He didn’t want to admit that he had feelings for the British man but he wasn’t sure how long he could take the stress of hiding it. George was the reason he got high almost everyday. Everything to him revolved around George.

“Dream are you listening to me?” George’s voice wavered with a bit of concern, “Dream?” The man on the other end of the line called out to him once more, breaking him away from his thoughts. “Yeah, I’m here sorry. What did you say?” Dream’s voice trailed slightly as he tried to fight against his foggy mind. He wanted to pay attention to George but at the same time, he wanted to get lost in his fantasies about the man as he spoke. “Are you high right now?” Dream laughed, “Of course not.” George groaned, “Dream, don’t lie to me. What did you do?”

A wave of anxiety rushed over Dream as he wanted to confess everything but he pushed away the nagging thoughts. “I only smoked a little. There’s no need to worry.” The man on the other end grumbled, “What about last night?” Dream paused for a moment, racking his brain for a believable lie. “Uh… I think it was more weed?” That wasn’t necessarily a lie but it definitely wasn’t the full truth and George knew better. “You’re a horrible liar. Sapnap told me what happened but I thought you would at least be a man and own up to what you did.” Dream’s heart stopped for a moment as he whispered loud enough for the microphone to pick up, “What happened last night?”

“You almost overdosed. Sapnap called me all frantic because you had passed out at the bar. He brought you home and he told me everything that you do when you’re out at parties. Be glad he had Narcan or else you’d either be dead or in the hospital. I’m even more upset that you thought it was a good idea to mix and inject both heroin and meth into your system. What are you trying to do? Are you trying to kill yourself?” George ranted, “You’re going to get addicted to that and I won’t be able to stop you from all the way across the ocean! Think about your actions before you do something that stupid. Do you want me to come over there to babysit you like a child? At this rate, I’m about to buy a plane ticket and stay with you guys to keep both of you out of trouble. I can’t believe Sapnap has more sense than you.”

Dream said nothing in his defense but what was he supposed to say to calm George down? He already felt terrible about lying to him and he knew he’d be digging himself into a deeper hole. The anger and disappointment from George’s voice made him want to sink back into his bed and wallow in the surge of negative emotions. He silently wished that he could go back and change himself to appease George, to avoid his constant worry. His heart ached and he could feel himself losing his composure. 

His heart raced as tears began to trail down his cheeks. His throat tightened, making it harder for him to take in oxygen. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Dream’s voice cut out as he began to gasp for air. George called out for him but he quickly ended the call as he couldn’t stand the sound of the man any longer. He felt so bad for letting his habits spiral into an addiction he could no longer control. If only Dream could express his love for George then maybe he wouldn’t need a reason to hide his feelings. If only he loved me back. 

Dream received a message from George and it was a picture of a plane ticket. He sent it in the groupchat for Sapnap to see. His intentions were clear and he had enough of Dream’s irresponsibility. 

‘The flight is booked and I’ll be there Friday.’ 

He had two days to get himself together before he would have to face his best friend in person. If things couldn’t be any worse, Dream had already arranged to meet with his supplier Friday night to get ready for the weekend. With George coming to look after him, he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to get his weekly fix. His anxiety only made him fall into a deeper panic, his breathing was shallow and he could feel himself getting lightheaded. He threw his phone without caring if it would be damaged by the impact of it hitting the ground. It landed on a small pile of clothes that sat in the corner of his room waiting to be washed.

George’s voice echoed through his mind as he sank down against his wall and pulled his knees close to his chest. Subconsciously, he reached for his phone but he couldn’t seem to find it fast enough. His mind raced and he immediately wanted to call for Sapnap but he knew he didn’t have the breath to waste trying to explain what had happened.

He took in as much oxygen as he could before calling out to his voice assistant in a desperate attempt to send a message to the student who had been in the middle of a lecture. “Hey Siri,” He paused to take another breath as the small chime from his phone echoed from across the room, “Text Sapnap, I had another one.” He choked on his words as Siri confirmed his message and finally sent the desperate plea for help. 

Moments later, his phone began to buzz but he couldn’t find the strength to get up and answer it. His mind was only focused on one thing, that being how much George hated him. A small feeling in his heart tried to reassure him that George only worried for his health and safety but he couldn’t help feeling like he was a burden to his friend. All because he wanted to be something more than friends. All because he craved to be loved by George. To feel affection from him that no one else could. 

Perhaps he was greedy and wanted George all to himself but there was nothing wrong with that. He just wanted to hold onto him like a child keeping their favorite plushie safe. He would do anything to have George in his arm, to feel his warmth pressed against his chest. To exchange the words of ‘I love you’ and actually have it mean something more than just a joke. To feel something other than this one-sided love. 

He hadn’t been sure how long he was on the floor struggling to breathe but the sound of Sapnap barging through his door made him snap out of his trance. The younger boy tossed his bag aside and rushed up to Dream’s side before kneeling down next to him. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here faster. Just don’t think about anything and breathe.” Sapnap took his friend into his arms and carefully massaged his soft golden waves to try to comfort him. Dream slowly began to catch his breath and the pressure in his throat wasn’t as tight anymore. He could finally feel his mind clearing and he could finally speak without becoming extremely lightheaded due to the lack of oxygen.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this.” Dream apologized, wiping away the salty lines from his cheeks. “Don’t apologize. I’d rather deal with this than those tests any day. How about we get some air and then order some take out?” Sapnap pulled him to his feet and guided him outside to take in some fresher air. Dream’s legs threatened to give out and he allowed himself to sit down on the edge of the concrete porch outside of the door. Sapnap sat next to him and began to order their dinner. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened? Sometimes it’s better to get it all off of your chest but only if you really want to.” Dream shook his head violently, “No, no I don’t think we should talk about it.” Once again he could hear George’s voice echoing through the back of his mind with a tone that made him want to shrink back like a kid getting scolded by their parents.

“You’re so pathetic and reliant on your little fixes. Let me guess, you just want to get high again to hide away like a coward.”

His green gaze dropped and his breathing became a bit ragged. He wanted to speak up but his voice faltered and became a mere whimper. Sapnap looked up from his phone after submitting their order and studied Dream for a moment before realizing he was about to go into another panic attack. “Breathe and don’t think about whatever is bothering you,” He warned before placing a reassuring hand on the shaky man’s shoulder.

Calm. Calm, Dream thought to himself as he dragged himself away from the toxic mental space. His gaze lifted from the concrete to Sapnap’s worried expression, the boy read him like a book and simply huffed in defeat. “You know you can’t just rely on drugs to feel better. I don’t want you to get addicted dude.” Dream shook his head, “I’m not going to get addicted. I just need to take my mind off things.” 

He pushed himself off of the concrete and started to walk back inside with Sapnap following him closely. “I don’t want to pressure you to tell me what’s bothering you but you’ll need to sort your shit out. George is coming in two days and I know he’s not going to stand for you acting like you are.” 

The mention of George’s name made him bitter but it was the fact that someone other than him even spoke about him made Dream want to snap. “Shut up Sapnap! I already know, just leave me alone.” Sapnap’s eyes slightly widened at the sudden hostility and he quickly bit his tongue as to not say anything out of line, “Are you even going to eat?” Dream shook his head, “I lost my appetite.”

Dream could feel himself growing more agitated by the second. He needed something to calm him down. He rushed to his room and slammed the door, causing a bit of unnecessary noise. He dug through his drawers and came across a small plastic bag with a familiar white powder. The craving of getting high always plagued him when he was stressed because he found comfort in the drugs, a way to take his mind off of the stress that reality brought to him. He poured a bit onto the dresser before creating small lines with it. Without another thought, he sniffed up the drug and allowed himself to feel numb. 

It took a minute for the cocaine to take effect but when it did, he felt much better than being slightly sober. He grabbed his phone to call George and waited for the man to pick up. The ringing went on for what felt like an eternity before George’s tired voice echoed from the small device. “Hello?” Dream’s heart fluttered at the deeper British accent and he almost forgot how to speak. George repeated himself and Dream finally responded, “Hey, what are you up to?” 

“I was trying to sleep.” His groggy voice was laced with a bit of annoyance, “Why are you calling me right now?” Dream huffed and pretended to be annoyed just to match George’s tone as he mocked him, “Why are you calling me right now? Well, Gogy I’m calling you because I wanted to talk to you but it seems like you’re too busy for me.” George let out a sigh and questioned Dream right as Sapnap barged through the door asking the exact same question, “Dream, are you high?” 

In a panic Dream quickly denied it but neither of them believed him. George’s voice echoed through the room loud enough for Sapnap to hear, “Sapnap is with you?” Dream grumbled, “He just walked in.” He turned to the boy and glared at him for a bit, “What do you want now?” George could hear the aggression in his voice and said nothing as he listed to the conversation between them.

“I’m just making sure you didn’t kill yourself. Your food is still on the table by the way.” Sapnap hated the unnecessary tension and tried to figure out the reason for the sudden aggression from the blonde. “Mind telling me what the hell your problem is with me? After everything I do for you, all you seem to do in return is snap at me.” Sapnap wanted to seem strong enough to slightly intimidate his high friend but he was fighting back his own tears. “I’m trying to keep you alive man but it seems like you keep trying to kill yourself. I don’t have to waste my time checking on you but I do it because I care about you. I can’t wait for George to get here because I don’t know how much longer I can do this by myself.” 

Dream’s mind couldn’t grasp what Sapnap was trying to say and only gave him a blank stare in return. He could pick up on his friend’s anger and simply retaliated with his own aggression. “Well I don’t care and I want you out of my room.” Sapnap didn’t budge so he stood up and slowly approached him. Something about the way he slowly stalked towards Sapnap made him feel a bit uneasy. He towered over him and looked down at him with an annoyed green gaze as he repeated himself, “I want you out of my room.” Sapnap said nothing and crossed his arms.

Dream pushed Sapnap with an absurd amount of strength, catching the younger off guard as he stumbled back. He hit the wall with enough force to temporarily stun him for a moment before he raised his voice, “Touch me again and we’ll have problems.” Dream smirked, “You want to act all big and tough now? I told you to get out of my room.” George’s voice came from the other end of the room, “Dream whatever you’re about to do, don’t do it. I’m booking my flight for tomorrow so I can give Sapnap a hand with trying to get you under control.” 

Without thinking, Dream turned to George’s voice as though he would see the man standing behind him. His eyes caught onto a moving figure and widened as he recognized the person. George was standing by his bed with his arms crossed, his expression was disappointed. “Dream, you need to learn to control yourself.” His chocolate gaze met Dream’s green one but he continued to scold the taller man. Sapnap rushed to his room and called George on his device to discuss the absurd event.

George disconnected from the call on Dream’s phone leaving the man to his strange hallucinations. Dream slowly walked towards the smaller man and he could feel his heart tear into pieces. “George, I’m sorry. All I wanted was for you to love me. I never meant to make you hate me. I’m so sorry.” Sapnap had returned back to Dream’s room to try to get him out of his hallucinations only to see the tall man beginning to fall into yet another one of his attacks. “Dream, you’ve got to snap out of it!” 

The sound of Sapnap’s voice brought him back to his senses and the vision of George that once stood in front of him had faded into nothing. He managed to catch his breath before things escalated but he turned to Sapnap with a horrified look on his face. “He’s not here?” The younger simply shook his head, “No, but he’s coming tomorrow.” Dream took a deep breath and tried to compose himself, “Tomorrow? Why tomorrow?” Sapnap shrugged but he knew exactly why. 

Dream tugged at his hair as he wasn’t sure how he'd manage with George being present. His thoughts grew hazy as the drug within his system began to wear off. He grew extremely tired and let out a yawn as he waved Sapnap off, politely telling him to leave. This time the younger obliged and whispered loud enough for Dream to hear, “Goodnight Dream.” The door shut softly and a distant conversation between him and George could be heard as he walked further down the hallway.

Dream groaned and threw himself into bed, not giving another care in the world. His head began to ache slightly and he didn’t want to deal with the pain of staying awake much longer. He pulled some of his body underneath the sheets while keeping part of him exposed to the cool air to avoid getting too hot. He buried his head into his pillow and wasted no more time before drifting off to sleep.

What felt like only minutes later, he woke up to a faint light in his room caused by the evening sun. He wasn’t sure how long he had slept but his headache slightly remained as he shifted into a more comfortable position rather than having his face against the pillow. He could feel how empty his stomach was but he couldn’t find the appetite to eat anything. He wanted to get out of bed and check on Sapnap but he couldn’t find the strength. He let out a groan as someone knocked at his door before entering.

George walked to the side of his bed before giving Dream a pitiful smile. “Glad you’re not dead. You feel alright?” It took the blonde a moment to register the man before him and he hesitantly reached to grab George’s arm. The Brit allowed him to take his arm within his weak grasp and he observed Dream’s surprised expression. “You’re real. You’re actually here.” He immediately released George and watched as he took a seat on the bed next to him. “Yeah, I’m actually here. You had us worried with your little episode last night.” Dream huffed and sat up to give the man more space, “I don’t even remember what happened last night. I just remember having the worst headache so I went to sleep.” 

George’s soft gaze studied Dream’s weaker build. He remembered the times before the parties and all the drugs, back when Dream was completely sober. His arms hadn’t looked like branches, his face didn’t look so lifeless. He remembered the happy smile when they would crack jokes all the time. How radiant his skin looked. How attractive he really was. Now all of that was gone. Though George’s heart would still care for his friend even though his appearance had started to go downhill. He just knew that he could never fall for this side of Dream. He wanted the old Dream back.

Carefully George grasped Dream’s hand with a secure grip that wasn’t too tight. He locked eyes with the withering man and let out a small sigh. “Dream, you’ve got to get yourself some help. I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.” Dream shook his head, “I don’t need help. I promise you won’t lose me.” George knew that Dream wouldn’t change without help but he didn’t want to cause him any more stress so he changed the subject, “Did you eat anything recently?” Dream shook his head once more, “I’m not that hungry.”

Dream didn’t have the strength to eat let alone get up to walk to the kitchen to get himself a plate of food. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with George. A small ache in his heart told him that they wouldn’t see each other for much longer. “George,” Dream mumbled, catching the Brit’s undivided attention, “Promise you’ll stay with me for a few more days.” George gave him a soft smile, “I’m not leaving you any time soon. I’ll be right back, I’m going to make you some soup because I’m not going to let you starve yourself.” With that being said, George released Dream’s hand and left the room to get him food.

Dream could feel himself growing a bit anxious thinking about the what-ifs that could occur if George found his stash of drugs. He could feel himself growing dependent on his fixes but he never found a way to stop. He knew he would never be able to stop. He wanted to be strong for George but he knew that he was weak. He no longer had control of himself as he let go of the freedom he once had. Just to become dependent on something that was slowly killing him.

The soft pattern of George’s footsteps approaching the room helped him to take his mind off of the unforgiving cravings. With a tray carefully balanced in George’s hand, he walked into the room and placed the steaming soup on the bedside table. “I would tell you to eat it while it’s hot but I don’t want you to burn yourself. Let it cool for a minute and then try to eat some.” Dream sat with his feet over the edge and gave George a pitiful look, “Thanks.” George sat back down next to him and watched as Dream focused his gaze on the floor, obviously starting to zone out. “Hey, what’s the matter with you all of a sudden?” 

Dream didn’t even hear the man speaking to him as he fell deep within his own realm of thoughts. How he would fantasize about taking him on the perfect date and bringing him back home where they would waste the night away by snuggling on the couch while watching a movie. Kissing his best friend with a desire and lust that he had yet to experience first hand. Having George buried within his arms until the morning. Oh how he would do anything to live in that reality that he sacrificed all for the drugs he was dependent on.

He felt a soft tap on his shoulder and slowly came out of his thoughts. “Dream, you need to eat.” Dream wanted to refuse the food but his stomach gave him a loud enough growl to convince him otherwise. He took the bowl into his unsteady hands and carefully began to start eating. He tried to steady himself but he couldn’t seem to do even that. George grumbled and took the bowl into his own hands before grabbing the spoon from Dream. He took his time and assisted the addict with the consumption of his food.

Dream wouldn’t have ever thought of a day where George would be feeding because he was too weak to care for himself. It didn’t take much for him to feel full again so he quickly pushed George’s hand away to let him know that he was full. The small bowl hadn’t even been close to being empty but George didn’t want to push his luck. He was glad Dream finally listened and ate something.

George excused himself from the room leaving Dream alone once more. The sickening feeling of his heart racing for the man made Dream nearly want to vomit. If he as much as thought about George one more time, he might be officially classified as insane. He hated the way he craved George’s love like one of his drugs. He wanted to be addicted to something other than the temporary high. He was sick of feeling so empty and dependent. He had enough of it.

He carefully pushed himself to his feet and stumbled a bit as he nearly lost his balance. He reached into his drawer for a large bag of mixed drugs he had been collecting from his dealers. It ranged from opioids to hardcore heroin and meth to even just basic weed. He needed to get high one last time but he knew how badly it would hurt his friends. He wanted nothing to do with the feelings of sorrow and dread that plagued his mind. Without another thought he dumped out the entire bag and decided that this would be the final time he would have to suffer.

He loaded needles with a mixture of meth and heroin. He poured out bottles of medicine before quickly digesting much more than he should have. He quickly injected himself with the concoction and it didn’t take very long before he could feel himself slipping away. His head buzzed and the dizziness hit him like a wave from the ocean. He no longer felt the pain of emotions. He couldn’t even feel himself at all anymore. He was completely numb.

He turned towards the door and watched as George came back in with a worried look on his face. His eyes scanned the bed that was littered with medicine bottles, small plastic bags, and needles. He rushed over to Dream’s side as the tall man swayed slightly before his knees buckled. George caught onto his torso and held onto his friend's dying body, pulling his head close to his chest. Dream softly mumbled hundreds of broken apologies. He apologized for everything that had ever happened like it was his only way of coping. He knew not even a sorry would be able to fix the broken hearts he left behind.

“George,” Dream slurred, “I love you.” George teared up and rested his face onto the soft golden locks, “I love you too.” His heart ached at the crying man's words but he didn’t feel much else after another second had passed. He pressed himself into George’s hoodie and took in his comforting scent for the last time before he felt himself grow extremely tired. “Can you stay awake for me just a little while longer?” George sobbed as he tightened his grip on Dream’s torso, pulling him even closer.

“I’m so tired.” Dream murmured as he tried to fight the sudden sleepiness that took over his body. His vision began to fade into darkness as he whispered his final goodbye to his best friend and never-to-be lover. “I’m so sorry. I’ll miss you so much.” George sniffled as he could feel Dream’s heart beginning to slow down drastically, “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop you from doing this earlier. You never should’ve lived like this. I love you so much it hurts to let you go. Please don’t go.”

“I don’t want to go anymore.”

Dream wanted to plead for his life. To take back his actions. To never dive into the world of addiction. He wanted to go back and fix all the mistakes he made. To love George for a little while longer. To breathe in George’s scent. To hear his accent one last time. To be next to him for an eternity. 

He felt George’s warmth slip away as he finally began to succumb to the sleepiness that dragged him from reality. He didn’t have to worry about emotions. He didn’t have to worry about being heartbroken over his best friend who would never love him the same way. He was finally free from the pain of living. He was free from the crippling addiction that held him hostage in his own body. 

Finally, after all this time, he was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently working on the next DNF oneshot but I should maybe have it posted by the end of this week or next week!


End file.
